Dear Zeda,

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 7 months and it’s been good. Lately though, he has been making comments about my weight. When we started dating I was a size 8 but have gained a bit of weight and I’m now a size 14. It’s mostly because we go out to eat a lot and my job is a desk job and stressful, so I hardly have time to work out. I have joined a gym and gone on a clean eating plan because I realized that I am stress eating and it’s unhealthy. My boyfriend, even with all these changes I’ve made, makes negative comments about how I am fat and getting fatter every time I slip up and have fries or a soda. He also talks about models and compares me to them. I’m starting to feel very unattractive and I don’t know what to do with all th fat shaming. – Stressed

Dear Stressed,

I am so sorry about how you’re feeling. Gaining weight is not abnormal as most of us fluctuate in our weight as we go through different seasons of our lives. Your boyfriend is an ass for fat shaming you and you need to dump him. This isn’t someone you want to keep around you. If he is acting like this because you have gained some weight, how will he act if you have say, a serious health issue? You need to have someone supportive in your life and he is not it. You also need to do some soul searching to separate health and fitness from your self-esteem. If you are looking to lose weight, be sure you are doing it for yourself and your focus is on your health and fitness so that it doesn’t become a damaging cycle. Also, as a matter of urgency, develop healthy stress management and coping outlets as stress eating is not healthy. Surround yourself with people who care for you and remind you that you are worthy. Take care!

To have your Ask Zeda questions answered, email


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here