We are in the ‘month of love’ and all the focus seems to be on romantic relationships. That it can be challenging for single people to maintain their sanity during this season is not in question. However, those who have found new love are not shielded from challenges. The giddy feeling and emotional high from being in love can cloud one’s judgement. Before you commit to a long term relationship, take some time to consider some key issues.
Friends
The guy might blind you with his charm, but what kind of people does he hang out with? ‘Show me your friends and I’ll show you who you are’ isn’t just a cute saying. People are influenced by who they spend time with the most. Find out who his close friends are and pay attention to their character. This speaks volumes about the guy’s personality.
Openness
After a few months of going out together, your love interest should have at least introduced you to his siblings and friends. If he keeps going on and on about how he loves you immensely but you haven’t met even one of his friends, he may just be hiding something. After one year of dating you haven’t seen any of his family members? Girl, you need to be cautious. A man in love will be eager to brag about his girlfriend.
Going Too Fast
On the other hand, if the relationship is moving too fast leaving you with no time to think about issues, this is a red flag. You barely know much about each other and the guy is already talking marriage. Talking about your wedding day on the third date. Or pushing you to move in with him two weeks after you’ve met. Run! Men who behave this way usually want to blind you with sweet words such that you don’t see their character flaws. The ‘incredibly awesome guy’ facade falls off once you say yes to him and the real monster comes out. Suddenly he’s abusive and controlling. You keep asking if you did anything to set off this behaviour but your mind draws a blank.
Treating Others
He treats you like royalty. Nothing you need is out of reach for him. But how does he relate with others, especially those in positions of service? If he snaps at wait staff in restaurants, sneers at security guards or shows contempt to janitors, this is a major warning sign. Classic narcissist behaviour. He’s only being nice to you because he wants to win you over. Once that’s done he’ll give you the same disrespect. He will always be right and you wrong, Nothing you do will ever be up to his standard. Your fairy tale romance turns into a living hell.
Being in love is an amazing feeling. But don’t let that cloud your judgement. Think carefully about these pointers and you may just save yourself a lot of heartache.