As a parent you only want the best for your children. You do everything to foster a good relationship with them, understand and meet their needs. But as they grow older, you notice a rift growing between you. ‘Do they hate me?’ you wonder. Parents with adult children often feel estranged, but it’s not hate.
Older children tend to not want their parents’ company as much as previous years. This may be misinterpreted as indifference. Remember though that your children are adults now, they are independent and may get caught up in their own lives. Think back to when you desired for them to launch out on their own and grow into independent adults? This is it. So how do you deal with this new phase of life?
Quit competing with your child’s spouse/ partner. You may still feel that your child needs your guidance in, say, how to run things around the house. However, you need to pull back. Your child is able to take care of himself/ herself and they no longer live in your house. Their partner’s tastes will take precedence over yours, that’s just how it is.
Give your children space. They may not respond to your texts as fast as before. Adult life comes with many responsibilities that take up one’s time, as I’m sure you know. Being slow in responding doesn’t mean they don’t like you, it’s just that there are more pressing issues to deal with at the time.
Your children may not always be eager to hear personal details about your life. As a child grows older, they tend to need distance from their folks since a parent-child relationship is quite intense.
Fill your life with things you love doing. Now that your kids have left the nest, your life may feel rather empty. Instead of constantly clinging to them, revisit your hobbies and interests. Don’t let your happiness entirely revolve around your children.
