disagreements

Relationships aren’t always rainbows and unicorns. Disagreements are inevitable from time to time. If they’re not handled well they could pile up with serious consequences in future. However with proper measures, disagreements can actually lead to a healthy relationship.

Talk With, Not At

It’s very easy for us to get carried away when we’re upset. Emotions run high and we are insistent on making our point. As a result we end up talking at each other and the discussion goes nowhere. Allow the other party to give their side of the story without interrupting them. There’s a quote that goes “Most people don’t listen to understand, they listen to reply.” Take time to see the issue from their perspective. Being receptive makes them feel valued thus eases tensions.

Keep It Focused

Have you ever been berated by someone for a mistake you made, then they bring up past issues? Sucks, doesn’t it? What results is either a shouting match or a monologue depending on your personality in handling confrontation. It is best to focus on the current problem and work it out rather than dragging previous misdeeds, which makes one feel attacked.

Agree To Disagree

Even after having a focused discussion in a calm environment, you may not agree on every point. This calls for understanding. If your partner holds a contrary opinion, respect that. Don’t attack or try to guilt-trip them into accepting what you think is right. After all, your relationship is more important than being right all the time.

Apologies

Acknowledging one’s mistakes is key to resolvingĀ disagreements in a relationship. State clearly that you are aware you wronged your partner and are sorry about it. Ask them what you can do to make it up to them. What if you feel your actions were right, but they are offended? Well, admit that you caused them pain but it wasn’t intended. When an apology is offered, accept it. Your anger may still be simmering but appreciate that they have recognised their wrong. Let them know verbally that the apology has been received.

Mediators

At times the issues may be huge or spanning many years. Resolution might not be achieved in a session or two. If both of you are grandstanding this makes it worse. In such cases an unbiased mediator is required. Some people may view involving someone from outside as airing dirty linen in public. But for the sake of mending the relationship, a safe space where all can share their grievances without judgement is vital.

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