There is no sex life identical to another. Building and maintaining a good sex life with your partner requires both of you to put in time and effort.
Do you have a healthy sex life? If so, you have the following qualities.
- Acceptance of each other’s flaws and quirks.
- Date nights, fun, and playfulness.
- Love for each other.
- Physical attraction.
- Productive and meaningful communication.
- Willingness to make time for each other.
Though people are quick to compare themselves against others, there is no magic number when it comes to how often you should have sex with your partner.
Listed below are a few things sex therapists say to think about next time you are questioning your sex life.
1. How much sex should a couple have?
Couples need to understand how often each person needs to have sex to be fulfilled in the relationship.
Some people want to have sex every day, other people have other priorities, so sex is not on the top of their list, so they are having it less.
According to psychotherapists, the primary problem for many couples is not the frequency of sex, but how they talk about it. If both people in the couple have a general desire to want to please their partner and participate in the relationship and talk about things openly, usually they can negotiate on satisfaction.
2. Are your daily habits hurting your sex life?
A lot more people are connected to devices. If they are watching videos, TV in the bedroom, texting or updating social media feeds, it is detrimental to their sex lives.
That immediate gratification can be more compelling than let’s take the time to get in the bed and have sex. Sex may have longer gratification and might have a bigger payoff, but people are going for fast and easy.
3. Low interest in sex
For couples with children or stressful jobs, sometimes the idea of having sex is too much to bear, but having sex can have positive effects on your life. Exhaustion also hinders many couples from following up on their sexual appointments and needs.
Science has shown that sex releases endorphins that make you feel good and increase the feeling of closeness with your partner. Sex can also clear the mind. Sex also reallocates your blood flow to your genitals and can help clear your thoughts.
If a partner wants to discuss issues within the relationship or the frequency of sex, it is important to carefully plan how they address the subject, being aware of each other’s needs.
If one partner wants to have sex three times a week, and the other doesn’t, other sex acts can act as a substitute for actual intercourse.
4. Schedule for sex and show up
It is hard to find time for sex when people are consistently hard-pressed for time. If time is the issues, schedule time for it. Just like class or meetings.
5. Need professional help?
People should seek help if they feel rejected or like their partner is not listening to their needs sexually. Try to learn how to be more open with their partner about their needs by reading a book or watching a video on connecting.
Sex therapy or counseling can be beneficial for couples who want to rebuild their sex lives and those who are already satisfied.
Even couples that are happy with their sex life could see a therapist, because they will ask questions the couple may not have discussed or ideas they might not have known.
