Matters women is a subject that is critical to the development of any society. Women have for a long time fought for equal opportunities, more rights and freedom and exposure. Granted, we have made good progress since the last revolution.
However, there is one problem that holds us back from significant progress. The problem is us. Fellow women. I can recall the numerous times I have been shot down by a woman. Looked down on by a woman. Discouraged by a woman. Had a door closed on my face by a woman.
Unfortunately, some women still think they should be handed things, yet they should have absolute confidence in their abilities. If they do not, who will? I bet men can smell timidity from a mile away. And this is a man’s world, right? They see the gap and run with it. Compared to men, women tend to lack self-belief and confidence which leads to a cautious approach to career opportunities.
I reckon my unpopular opinion will not be very welcome amongst my fellow women, but I have experienced it, and I have heard stories of other women who have experienced it. How dare I air the ladies’ dirty laundry! I am not anti-woman or a bad sister. Over time, I have realized that any suggestion that women are co-architects of their unhappiness for failure to prosper has been perceived as tantamount to misogyny, hostility and internal sexism.
A friend of mine who has has substantial experience in the media scene in Kenya recently described to me how women in high ranks will almost at all times see their female juniors as bad competition. But I thought this was a sisterhood. I have always looked up to these women to leave the door open for me. For the younger generation. So we wouldn’t have to always fight the same battles as our fore mothers. But, as I have quickly learnt, behind the curtain of sisterhood lies a myriad of emotional tangles that can wreak havoc on the overall health and quality of our lives.
A successful woman who has been through the struggle will be a gatekeeper for other women. No woman should have to hold back progress for other women, because there is enough space for all of us. Making our own tables, discussing core societal issues and breaking blocking chains one by one will go a long way in our ultimate march to equality and justice.
I suggest a real sisterhood. A truthful, genuine sisterhood. The next attractive colleague is not my competition. She will not cut out my chances of securing a promotion.
It is important and helpful that women work towards the advancement of themselves and each other. This attitude will help to de-personalize the struggle.
