At Zeda Book Club, our February book was All About Love: New Visions by bell hooks, a book that challenges conventional notions of love and urges us to rethink how we experience and practice it in our lives. Published in 2000, hooks’ work remains as relevant today as it was when it first appeared, offering a thought-provoking and deeply personal exploration of what it truly means to love. We met up at Artisan Blend in Hurlingham.
One of the most striking aspects of All About Love is hooks’ definition of love itself. She argues that love is not just an emotion or a feeling but a verb, an active choice that requires care, commitment, respect, responsibility, and trust. She critiques how society, particularly under capitalism and patriarchy, distorts love, turning it into a transaction rather than a practice of deep connection and transformation. Her perspective encourages readers to move beyond superficial or conditional ideas of love and embrace a more radical and honest understanding.
A central theme in the book is the impact of patriarchy on love, particularly how it distorts men’s ability to express vulnerability and emotional depth. hooks emphasizes that men are often socialized to see love as control rather than care, leading to relationships built on power dynamics rather than mutual respect. For women, she highlights the ways in which love is often romanticized as self-sacrifice, reinforcing unhealthy patterns of dependency and emotional labor.
This aspect of the book sparked deep conversations in our book club, particularly around the ways gender expectations shape our experiences of love. Many of us reflected on how societal conditioning has influenced our relationships, and the book’s call for emotional honesty and accountability resonated strongly.
Another key takeaway from All About Love is that love extends beyond romantic relationships. hooks discusses self-love, friendship, and community love as equally essential to a fulfilling life. She critiques the way mainstream culture prioritizes romantic love above all else, often leaving people feeling unfulfilled if they are not in a romantic relationship. Her call to embrace love in all its forms, whether through family, friendships, or a greater connection to humanity, offers a refreshing and necessary perspective.
Verdict
The book is deeply insightful. She presents love as a moral and ethical practice, which can feel challenging, however, her blend of personal anecdotes, feminist theory, and philosophical thought makes the book an engaging and compelling read.
At Zeda Book Club, All About Love sparked a rich discussion about how we define, seek, and practice love in our daily lives. It challenged us to unlearn harmful patterns and to cultivate a more intentional and transformative approach to love.
For anyone looking to reframe their understanding of love, this book is a must-read. Whether you’re single, in a relationship, or simply seeking deeper connections with those around you, hooks offers a powerful guide to loving better, with integrity and purpose.
Zeda book club is open to women to join. We café hop and read a new book. We meet every first Sunday of the month in Nairobi. Join the group here. Happy reading!
