Violence against women does not begin with a headline. It begins long before the moment a woman’s story becomes a statistic. It begins in the quiet, insidious spaces where society learns to see women as less deserving of safety, dignity, and autonomy. These lessons are reinforced daily through the stories we watch, the jokes we share, the songs we dance to, the gossip we trade, and the digital platforms that shape how we relate to each other. As we move through the 16 Days of Activism, it is impossible to talk about femicide and gender-based violence without talking about the cultural landscape that makes this harm feel ordinary.
The Media We Consume Teaches Us Who Matters
The media, from mainstream outlets to independent platforms, plays a powerful role in shaping public attitudes. Too often, coverage of violence against women leans toward sensationalism rather than accountability. A woman is not murdered; she “dies mysteriously.” A man does not kill; he “snaps.” A relationship is not abusive; it was “rocky. A victim is not a victim; she “ignored the red flags.”
These linguistic softenings do more than distort the truth, they shift blame away from perpetrators and onto women. Even in digital spaces, commenters pick apart victims’ clothes, choices, dating habits, or presence in certain places. The harm is subtle, but its impact is profound: it normalises the idea that violence against women is a natural outcome of improper behavior, rather than a crime rooted in misogyny.
Culture Still Excuses What It Should Condemn
Beyond media, cultural norms continue to shape how women navigate safety. Many women grow up hearing versions of the same message, “Be a good woman. Be quiet. Be patient. Don’t embarrass him. Don’t provoke him. Don’t leave. Don’t question. Don’t talk about what happens in the home.”
These expectations make it difficult for women to name abuse, and even harder to be believed when they do. The cultural myth that “private matters should stay private” has protected abusers for generations, and the idea that endurance is a virtue keeps many women trapped in cycles of violence. When culture tells women they owe loyalty, forgiveness, and silence, it creates the conditions for violence to flourish.
Technology Has Changed the Landscape
Digital platforms have transformed the way women date, work, socialise, and express themselves, but they have also opened the door to new forms of harm: Online harassment and stalking, non-consensual image circulation, doxxing, catfishing and dating app violence, blackmail, threats, and digital surveillance.
For many women, the phone is both a lifeline and a weapon. Women who speak publicly about gender justice face torrents of abuse online. Young women meeting partners through apps often find themselves navigating dangers that platforms are poorly equipped to prevent, and digital anonymity allows abusers to act with little fear of consequence.
Technology mirrors our cultural values, and amplifies them. When misogyny is embedded offline, it becomes turbocharged online. The systems are interconnected, and so is the harm. Media, culture, and tech are not separate ecosystems. Together, they form a feedback loop that shapes how society understands women’s lives, and women’s deaths. A violent man grows up in a culture that excuses control, and his actions are reported in a way that sanitises harm. Online, strangers debate whether the woman “should have known better”, and the algorithm pushes those comments to thousands of others, reinforcing stereotypes and desensitising the public to violence.
Breaking this cycle requires more than outrage; it requires a cultural shift. As Kenya confronts rising cases of femicide, it is not enough to demand better policing or stronger laws (though both are essential). We must also demand new narratives that affirm women’s humanity, agency, and right to safety.
We need media that reports responsibly, cultural conversations that challenge harmful norms, tech spaces where women are not targets, storytelling that refuses to treat women’s deaths as entertainment or inevitable or justified, and a society that believes women, supports women, and protects women.
Join the movement. Raise your voice. Amplify the call. #EnoughOfThisKE #EndFemicideKE #16Days
